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This One Simple Change Could Save Your Relationship

September 22nd, 2017
Lisa L.
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This One Simple Change Could Save Your Relationship
"I actually have this fantasy of giving up my cell phone." --Julia Stiles
Who would have thought that "some of us" would be addicted to a pocket-sized, all-purpose device that includes:

Alarm clock

Mailbag

Connection to friends and family

News headlines

Bank statements

Shopping cart

Calendar

Notepad

The latest novel we're reading

It's all good, right?
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Ummm…not quite. Let’s face it – some of us are quite hooked.

And, that can cause strain in relationships. Adam Alter has written a fascinating book called IRRESISTIBLE. It tackles the issue of addictive technology:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Irresistible-addicted-technology-yourself-free/dp/1784701653/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1506100700&sr=8-1&keywords=irresistible

So, is it just me, or have you encountered someone:

Looking at the phone – instead of you—when you are talking to this person?

Viewing a smartphone in bed until the lights go out?

Wasting too much time browsing on the phone, then looking up, wondering where the time went?

Jacqueline Leo says, "One look at an email can rob you of 15 minutes of focus. One call on your cell phone, one tweet, one instant message can destroy your schedule, forcing you to move meetings, or blow off really important things -- like love and friendship."

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If you want better relationships, lessening cell phone use might be a good place to start.

So….how do we become a bit less hooked?

1. Keep the phone out of sight. Simply place your device in an unreachable spot.

2. Tell yourself, "This is the kind of person I am."

-- I don’t check my phone until lunch break.

-- I put down my phone and look at my husband when he’s talking to me.

-- I turn my phone off at 9:00 p.m.

3. Use a countdown rule. Only allow yourself a few "checks" and then stop there. Using a timer can be helpful.

4. Expect lapses and prevent them if necessary. If you’re usually tempted to pull out your phone at the table, leave your phone in your coat pocket.

Hopefully, a little awareness will be a great first step in putting smartphones in their place.

But what do YOU think...are cell phones mostly helpful or harmful in close relationships?

Lisa x

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